27 Apr DIVORCE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE UGLY; IT CAN BE TRANSFORMATIONAL.
Divorce can be all encompassing and life changing. That is what a lot of friends and family will tell you. We all know someone who has gone through an “ugly” divorce. An experience which involved a lengthy negotiation process between lawyers and maybe even involved the court. A process where significant funds were spent paying lawyers to write nasty letters, fighting over the division of assets or the parenting arrangements. If you know someone who has been through this type of divorce, they will probably have a lot of negative emotions flowing from it and ultimately would agree that they experienced an “ugly” divorce.
Divorce doesn’t have to be ugly. The all encompassing, life changing experience of divorce, doesn’t have to be negative. In fact, divorce can be, and should be, a positive experience which allows growth within us as an individual.
At Resolve Divorce, our clients are at the forefront of what we do. We work with our clients to understand what is important to them, what they want to achieve in their divorce and work with a team of specialists to assist our clients with achieving outcomes that align with their goals.
Our top tips for taking the “ugly” out of divorce are
Remain in control of your divorce experience.
Take the time to speak to your lawyer to understand your negotiation options and choose an option that is most suitable to you and your family. There are many different forms of negotiation where you can remain in control of your outcomes including “kitchen table” negotiations, family therapy, co-parenting counselling, collaborative practice, mediation and informal conferencing. If you understand your options and choose the option that is most suitable to you, you will have more control over your experience.
Surround yourself with the right support.
Divorce is so much more than the “law”. If you have the right professionals assisting you through your divorce journey, you will feel empowered to make the right decisions for you and your family. A Family therapist to assist you with discussing parenting arrangements or a financial planner working with you to plan your financial future can form part of the team that you surround yourself with
Take the time to process your divorce.
Going through a divorce can be a highly emotional time for most people. At the same time as trying to come to terms with the changes that you are experiencing, it can be extremely difficult to make decisions about your future. While it is important to understand your options early on, make sure you take the time to work through your emotional landscape and if necessary, work with professional support, to allow you to feel empowered to start making decisions moving forward.
Spend the time exploring your goals and understanding what you want your future to look like
It is so important to consider your future, work with your lawyer and your support team to understand what is important to you. What you want your family to look like, what relationship you want to have with your former partner and what you want your future to look like. Understanding your goals will assist you in working towards outcomes that align with your goals.
Look to the future, not the past
Try shifting your focus to your future and get excited about the ‘new’ life that you can lead.
Divorce should be seen as a new chapter, and how you want this chapter to read is totally in your hands!
Written by Ashlee Wachtel, Senior Lawyer, Resolve Divorce.