Grey divorce has been gaining increased attention in recent years, and it was a key focus of a recent conversation on 5AA’s Afternoons with Angie McBride, where Resolve Founder & Executive Director, Rose Cocchiaro, spoke openly about why more couples are separating later in life and the complex emotions that often accompany that decision.
Divorce is often thought of as something that happens earlier in life, but over the past two decades there has been a significant rise in what’s known as grey divorce, which is separation or divorce among couples aged 50 and over. While later‑life divorce is becoming more common, it is still deeply confronting for many people who never imagined starting over at this stage of life.
This article explores what grey divorce is, why it’s happening more often, and the most common fears people over 50 experience when they begin to consider whether staying or leaving is the right choice.
What Is Grey Divorce?
Grey divorce refers to the breakdown of a marriage or long‑term relationship later in life, typically after decades together. These are often relationships that have survived raising children, building careers, financial ups and downs, and major life transitions. Yet still reach a point where one or both partners feel unable to continue.
For many, the decision is not impulsive. It’s usually the result of years of quiet dissatisfaction, emotional distance, or a gradual realisation that the relationship no longer supports who they are now.
Why Is Grey Divorce Increasing?
There is rarely a single cause. Instead, grey divorce tends to stem from a combination of personal, relational, and societal factors.
1. Growing Apart Over Time
People change, especially over the span of decades. Values, interests, priorities, and emotional needs can shift dramatically in this time. What once felt compatible may now feel misaligned, particularly once the demands of work and parenting ease.
2. Children Leaving Home
The transition to an “empty nest” often brings relationship issues into sharp focus. Without children as a shared purpose or buffer, couples may realise they have little connection left, or that they stayed together primarily for family stability.
3. Increased Longevity and Self‑Awareness
With longer life expectancy, many people in their 50s and 60s no longer see this stage as the end of life, but as the beginning of a new chapter. There can be a strong desire to spend remaining decades feeling fulfilled, emotionally safe, and authentically oneself.
4. Shifts in Gender Roles and Expectations
Social and economic changes, particularly greater financial independence for women, have given people more freedom to leave unhappy or unequal relationships. What may once have been tolerated is now questioned.
5. Accumulated Resentment or Unresolved Conflict
Years of unmet needs, poor communication, or unresolved conflict can quietly erode a relationship. Over time, emotional disconnection can feel more damaging than the fear of separation.
Common Fears for People 50+ Considering Divorce
Even when a relationship no longer feels right, the idea of divorce later in life can be overwhelming.
1. Financial Insecurity
One of the biggest concerns is money. Questions about retirement savings, superannuation, property, and ongoing financial stability can feel daunting, especially for those who haven’t managed finances independently for many years.
2. Fear of Being Alone
Loneliness is a powerful fear, particularly after decades with the same partner. Many people worry about whether they’ll cope emotionally on their own, or whether they’ll ever find companionship again.
3. Impact on Adult Children and Family
Even when children are grown, parents often fear the emotional impact of divorce on their family. There can be guilt, concern about changed relationships, and anxiety about how holidays, milestones, and grandchildren will be affected.
4. Loss of Identity
Long marriages often shape how people see themselves. Divorce can bring up questions like: Who am I without this relationship? or What does my future look like now? This identity shift can feel deeply unsettling.
5. Fear of Regret or “It’s Too Late” Thinking
Many people worry they’ll regret leaving or that it’s too late to start again. There can be pressure to endure unhappiness rather than risk uncertainty, even when staying comes at a high emotional cost.
A Decision That Deserves Care and Support
Grey divorce is rarely about blame or failure. More often, it’s about growth, change, and the need for emotional wellbeing later in life. While the fears are real, so too is the possibility of clarity, peace, and a more aligned future.
If you’re considering divorce after 50, taking the time to understand your options, seek professional guidance, and have informed, respectful conversations can make an enormous difference, both practically and emotionally.
You are not alone, and it is never wrong to want a life that feels safe, meaningful, and true to who you are now.
If you’d like to get an idea of what your first steps could look like, book a free 15-minute call with our team by clicking here.