If you’re heading into the holidays thinking, “This might be our last Christmas under one roof,” you’re not alone. Many Australians make the decision to separate in the new year, and the lead-up to Christmas can feel heavy, confusing and emotional.
The good news: with the right approach, you can keep Christmas calm, protect the children and prevent unnecessary conflict.
Here’s how.
1
Don’t hint at separation during emotional moments
Statements like:
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“This is why we can’t keep going”
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“You’ll understand next year”
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“You just wait until January”
…can inflame conflict and confuse children.
If you haven’t communicated the decision yet, keep things neutral and grounded.
Save the conversation for a private, calm, planned moment.
2
Remember what children actually need
Regardless of what’s going on between the adults, children need:
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Predictability
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Warmth
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Reassurance
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Simple routines
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A sense that the adults are steady
Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect.
It just needs to feel safe.
3. Set boundaries for holiday stress
Christmas brings extended family, alcohol, travel and money pressures — all things that amplify conflict.
Practical steps:
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Keep gatherings short
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Limit triggers (alcohol, certain relatives, unresolved issues)
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Avoid “post-mortem” conversations about the relationship
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Protect sleep and downtime
Your goal is to reduce emotional load, not add to it.
4. Plan the day together (even if things feel tense)
If the relationship is strained, structure helps.
Agree on:
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Who’s cooking
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When presents happen
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When children rest
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Which extended family events are realistic
The more predictable the plan, the calmer the day.
5. Avoid big announcements on Christmas Day
Telling your partner or children about separation on Christmas Day can cause lifelong associations with distress.
Even if you’ve mentally moved on, hold the boundary.
Let Christmas stand alone.
6. Decide whether to tell the children now or after Christmas
There is no single “right” answer.
It depends on:
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The level of ongoing conflict
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Safety
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Whether you can jointly present the message
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The emotional environment at home
A family lawyer or psychologist can help you decide when timing will reduce — not increase — distress.
7. Plan now for a calmer January
Preparing early means you aren’t scrambling in the new year.
This may include:
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A confidential first appointment
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Understanding your legal options
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Mapping living arrangements
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Setting up emotional support
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Preparing to communicate the decision respectfully
A clear January plan reduces fear for everyone.
If this feels like your “last Christmas at home”
You’re not failing.
You’re not alone.
And you don’t need to navigate this season without guidance.
We support clients every year who are preparing for separation with children at home. The aim is not to escalate — it’s to protect stability and dignity while you move through a difficult chapter.
If you want to enter this period feeling informed and ready for your next steps, book a free 15-minute call with our team – click here.