January is the busiest month of the year for separation. After holding things together through Christmas, many Australians finally reach a clear decision: “I can’t keep living like this.”
If you’ve recently separated, or your partner has made the decision, the first few days can feel overwhelming. Fear kicks in. Emotions spike. Your mind jumps from finances to the children to where you’ll live.
You don’t need to solve everything today.
Start with these steady, practical steps.
1. Slow everything down
The biggest mistakes happen in the first week.
Avoid:
-
reacting emotionally
-
making threats
-
moving out in anger
-
signing anything
-
involving children in adult decisions
Breathe first. Act second.
You do not need to do anything immediately unless there is a safety risk.
2. Protect your safety and privacy
If there are safety concerns — physical, emotional, or financial — take protective steps now.
This may include:
-
ensuring you have a private phone
-
accessing your important documents
-
speaking to a support service
-
getting urgent legal advice
If you are safe, continue calmly to step three.
3. Get early legal advice (don’t rely on Google, Chat GPT or friends)
Every separation is different.
Early advice helps you understand:
-
where you stand
-
what your realistic options are
-
how to protect the children’s routine
-
how to make financially safe decisions
-
what not to do
- most importantly, how to strategically plan and negotiate for the best outcome (no Ai chat function can tell you that!)
Most people feel noticeably calmer after their first appointment — because certainty replaces fear.
4. Stabilise the children’s world
Children don’t need all the answers today.
This week, they only need:
-
predictable routines
-
reassurance
-
no exposure to adult conflict
-
a calm explanation at the right time
If you haven’t told them yet, that’s okay.
We can help you plan the conversation.
5. Make no big financial decisions in the first week
Avoid:
-
moving money
-
closing accounts
-
dividing assets between yourselves
-
making promises
-
relying on advice from family or friends
You cannot “accidentally” agree to a settlement — but rushed decisions can make things harder later.
Just gather basic information for now.
6. Keep communication short and practical
Right now, emotions are high.
Use brief, factual messages like:
-
“What time is pickup?”
-
“Let’s stick to the usual routine this week.”
-
“Can we discuss logistics tomorrow?”
Avoid:
-
rehashing the relationship
-
blaming
-
debating the past
-
emotional statements
Calm communication protects everyone.
7. Start mapping your next 30 days
Once the first week settles, the next month becomes clearer.
A family lawyer can help you map:
-
temporary living arrangements
- temporary financial arrangements
-
parenting options
-
communication strategy and tips for effective communication
-
financial steps
-
timelines and deadlines
-
what negotiation strategy is right for you
-
what documents you’ll need
A clear roadmap reduces fear and helps everyone move forward with stability.
If you’ve separated in January, you’re not alone
January is full of people taking back control of their lives.
Your next steps don’t need to be rushed, reactive or chaotic. With steady guidance, separation can be structured, calm and protective of your future, and your children.
Want to learn more about your next steps? Book a free 15-minute call with our team by clicking here.