Many Australians decide to separate in January.
The lead-up to Christmas can feel like the final stretch — a month you just need to get through.
If you’re planning to separate after Christmas but haven’t told your partner or children yet, you’re in a sensitive, emotionally charged period. The aim now is to keep the environment as steady as possible while quietly preparing for the transition ahead.
Here’s how to move through the holidays with clarity and calm.
1. Start organising your internal plan (quietly)
You don’t need to make moves, pack bags or create confrontation.
Early planning may include:
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A confidential initial consultation
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Understanding immediate next steps
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Knowing your rights and obligations
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Thinking through temporary living arrangements
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Identifying what your children need
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Understanding your financial picture
This protects you from rushed decisions in January.
2. Keep communication peaceful and neutral
In December, emotions run high.
If you know you’re separating soon, protect the environment by keeping things steady.
This means:
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Staying out of arguments
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Not engaging in blame
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Neutral responses
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No ultimatums
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Short, practical conversations
Your calmness is the stabilising force.
3. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
Avoid statements like:
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“We’ll sort it all out after the holidays.”
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“Everything will stay the same.”
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“Nothing has to change.”
Reassurance is important, but false reassurance creates confusion later.
4. Protect Christmas for the children
Children sense more than you think.
Small steps help them feel safe:
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Keep routines predictable
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Create quiet, calm spaces
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Avoid adult tension
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Focus on connection rather than presents
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Don’t involve them in adult decisions, ever
The goal: protect their emotional environment.
5. Don’t rush into telling the children unless necessary
When children are told in December, they often:
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Carry it through Christmas
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Feel responsible for a “changed” holiday
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Struggle with the timing
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Become caught in emotional overspill
Unless safety requires immediate action, it’s okay — and often better — to wait until after Christmas.
6. Decide where you will go and what January looks like
When the dust settles after Christmas, clarity helps you avoid reactive choices.
Think through:
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Short-term living arrangements
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School routines
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Parenting options
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Financial transitions
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Practical support
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Timing of the separation conversation
A lawyer can help you map the first 30 days so the transition is calm and well planned.
7. Give yourself permission to not “perform” Christmas
If this is your last Christmas together, you may feel pressure to make it perfect.
You don’t need to.
Children don’t need performance — they need presence.
Adults don’t need theatrics — they need steadiness.
Keep Christmas simple, warm and manageable.
If you’re planning a separation in January
You’re not alone.
January is the most common time Australians take action.
You can get through this holiday without escalating anything, without creating confusion for your children, and without losing your footing.
A quiet, confidential conversation now helps you enter January with clarity — and move through separation in a calm, structured way.
Ready to speak to our team about planning your first steps? Book a free 15-minute call here.