“I’m thinking about separating. What do I do?”
Many people start thinking about separation in the lead-up to Christmas. It’s common. Pressure is higher, routines change, and issues that have been managed during the year become harder to ignore.
If you’re quietly considering separation, you don’t need to make any big decisions today. But there are steps you can take now that give you clarity, protect your wellbeing, and reduce conflict later.
This guide outlines where to start.
1. Understand the difference between “thinking” and “acting”
You are not separating by simply seeking advice.
Getting clarity early helps you avoid rushed, emotional decisions in January — the busiest month for separation in Australia.
A calm conversation with a family lawyer now helps you:
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understand your options
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know what the process actually looks like
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avoid common mistakes people make over Christmas
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protect your position without escalating anything
Planning now gives you space. Acting later becomes easier.
2. Get your emotional footing right
Separation is legal, but it starts emotionally.
If emotions run too hot, decisions become reactive.
Small steps help:
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Speak to a psychologist or GP
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Keep communication with your partner neutral
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Don’t announce anything during conflict
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Avoid “final straw” decisions in heightened moments
Your goal right now is to stay composed and stable.
3. Understand what separation means in Australia
You don’t need permission to separate.
You don’t need a document.
You don’t need to move out immediately.
What you do need is clarity about:
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living arrangements
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parenting options
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finances
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safety
And you need a plan that protects you, your children, and your future.
4. Quietly organise key information
You do not need to gather everything — that’s a myth.
A few basics help:
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bank account summaries
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super statements
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mortgage or lease details
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major assets
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major debts
That’s it.
This isn’t about hiding information or preparing for conflict; it’s about understanding the foundations of your life so you can make clear choices.
5. Don’t threaten separation or use it as leverage
This is where things go wrong over Christmas.
When separation is used in arguments, the dynamic shifts quickly — often in a way that escalates, breeds mistrust, or destabilises the home.
If you’re not ready to communicate the decision, don’t hint at it.
Stay steady. Stay neutral.
6. Start thinking about what a calm January looks like
If you’re considering separation, January is often the month people take action.
Planning now avoids:
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rushed decisions
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emotional reactions
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children being caught in tension
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financial panic
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conflict turning into escalation
A well-planned January feels clear, structured and human — not chaotic.
7. Get early legal advice (confidential, calm, no pressure)
An initial consultation is not the start of a fight.
It’s the start of clarity.
At Resolve, we combine legal expertise with a deep understanding of people in conflict. We guide you through the immediate next steps and show you what to expect if you decide to move forward — now or later.
Many clients see us in November or December, pause over Christmas, and return in January when they’re ready to act.
It’s calm, deliberate and protective of everyone involved.
If you’re thinking about separating but unsure where to begin
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
You don’t need to have “made the decision.”
And you don’t need to wait until after Christmas to get clarity.
A simple first conversation is often enough to steady everything.
Ready to get in touch? Simply click here and complete the form.